One of the guys.

Last night I went out for a BBQ at young couple's house, where the husband works for one of the European embassies! To be honest I had no idea what to expect, thou when I pulled into the yard and saw 10 nicely lined cars with CD plates, I looked at my jeans and decollete and got the msg, that I might be a bit out of the place. Bottomed up my jacket and marched into the garden.

And yeah, it was filled with kids, families, ambassador and the whole embassy staff. Luckily for me, it was super casual and people seemed very laid back. Got myself a drink, tried to mingle. Accidentally met the ambassador's wife, who turned out to be Colombian and spoke beautiful Spanish. Thou very soon my attention was dragged to the group of guys, where I knew at least two out of the 4 - my friend I cam with and the host. The other two turned out to be - househusband Argentinian gent, who recently moved here to follow his wife and a Irish - Serbian UN staff member, kind of drunk... like most Irish after 8pm on Friday!

Few hours latter, we were cracking jokes, talking economics and comparing the distances to our homes. Of course I meet some of these ppl for the 1st time, and they know each other. And just like all drinking - mates, they have inner jokes and code language. When they were about to reviel their codes, I sort of said - no need, for me to know it all! And the Serbian sort of looked at me with a smile and noted: "Oh, come on! You are one of the guys!!!"

And as welcoming and nice it might have sounded, he also did point out to the fact that I haven't joined or even met either of the housewives seated around the table, rather I am mingling with people by the bar, mainly working husbands and few working wives. And while it is cool and great, I just realized that I have set myself yet another challenge - to be the rare woman, feeling confident and comfortable among men. [And then there is that little silver line..between me being me and being seen as myself, and me being seen as single girl in the wrong crowd trying to flirt].

And weirdly enough, even in a European setting... there is the whole gender division and roles attached. Since I guess the expat community comes with expectations, that 80% of the cases its the woman that sits home, cause she is not allowed to work abroad and joins the table, where you talk about recipes and childcare! I can do it all, but I much rather talk about international aid, money devaluation, economical growth and travels.  Cause it feels that once you sit down by the table with the housewives... its hard to get back into the group by the bar!


...while being one of the guys is cool, its also a bit disturbing. Am I not loosing my femininity? Inst being one of the guys de-feminizing me? Am I still seen as a woman by the traditional sense? Or have I entered the place, where I thought I wanna be - among the guys/ the big players?

Ps. Thou.. they also say that males around you, bring out the femininity in a woman!